I have now been living in South Korea for over SEVEN years. That seems crazy-long, but also far shorter than I expected. Part of me thought I would stay here forever. But for now, I’m departing. In a few short weeks, I will be moving back to the States!
Despite the fact that I grew up in the US, my family is there, and I’ve visited nearly every year I’ve lived abroad, I feel like I’m about to enter a foreign land. I built a life here in Korea, and to leave it all behind feels like a huge risk. (Not to mention leaving behind the incredibly cheap health care..!)
Sudden twists and turns in the road of life are exciting, but they are also scary. You lose things you hadn’t considered. You are faced with challenges you didn’t prepare for. In fact, you feel generally unprepared.
When God says, “Jump,” and you jump, people call that a “leap of faith.” I’d say it’s more like a free fall.
It can be a long while before your feet touch anything solid. That’s what I’m experiencing anyway. But it’s kind of delightful––like I imagine sky diving would be.
As you fall, there is a feeling of invincibility. An irrational one. Because 1. you are falling, and 2. you are almost completely out of control. But that’s what’s so freeing about it.
You are letting go.
More Questions Than Answers
What will 2019 hold? On average, more laughter or tears? How many new friends? How many disappointments? What city will I even live in?
Those are the questions I’ve been asking these days.
But beneath my reservations and uncertainty is undeniable exhilaration. Possibilities are thrilling when you know that the responsibility for your life is not ultimately on you––sole responsibility would be paralyzing (for me, anyway). But because I know I’m in it with Someone Else, I feel hopeful.
If I make a mistake, He’ll catch me. If I get lost, He’ll find me. I know, because He’s done it so many times before.
So who knows what will happen in 2019? Reverse culture shock, reconnections, and lot of new beginnings, I’m guessing. But my Guide isn’t spoiling the surprise. And I’m ever so glad for that.