In awe of grace
Tonight is the start of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Tomorrow also happens to be the day I start seminary. It’s a new season for me, a very significant one. And tonight, I realized it needs to start with surrender. Everything is shifting around me. I just moved across the country to a new […]
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I have been learning the same lesson over and over the past several months––actually more like the past two years. The lesson is this: I am weak. At times I’ve felt intensely frustrated, stuck, even hopeless, wondering if this season will ever end. But what can I say? God is a thorough teacher. Not Okay The […]
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Recently, I told God that I was scared to be elevated to a higher position of influence. I might fall into pride or lose the intimacy I have with Him. I might forget that I needed Him and become the kind of person who shouldn’t be looked up to. Going higher can do that to people––I’ve seen it even in myself.
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Several months ago, I shared about my struggles with obligation as a good Christian girl. I wrote, “Obligation killed my joy.” In the same post, I shared that God had promised to take me deeper into the JOY of serving. He has. Here is some of my journey and what I’ve learned. Disillusionment I loved […]
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I used to think of my life purpose as a job. It was my job to be Christ to the world. It was my job to support, encourage, comfort, and edify those around me. But God didn’t create me to do a job, He created me to be a person––a unique individual that no one else is or can be. He created me to be Me.
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It is easy to think of destiny or calling as something that either limits us or puts unbearable pressure on us. But Christ paid a high price to set us free––free from sin, fear, shame, and death. He didn’t free us to make us slaves all over again. But so often we live just that way. As if we are still slaves.
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One of the biggest struggles I have had in regard to life purpose is living in the tension between what could be and what is. Dreams and desires God seemed to put on my heart remain out of reach. Potential I see in myself stays dormant, for years.
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When I was young, I avoided the term “calling.” I wasn’t sure I had one, and I wasn’t confident I would be able to correctly discern it if I did. I couldn’t relate to people who had a clear, concrete vision for their lives, who felt “called” to do something. To me, life was simply an open book waiting to be lived. The possibilities were endless.
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