I used to be highly uncomfortable with the unknown.
I desired answers and to just know what lay ahead. In fact, I wanted to not just know, but to be there. Now I know that it’s much better to live an adventure, to NOT know everything. The unknowns make life exciting.
Before, I didn’t know what it meant to be free–– free to want truly great things out of life.
Recently, God unearthed my past anxiety issues. I had forgotten about the stress dreams, the worries about all the minutiae of possible future scenarios, the paranoia about forgetting something crucial or accidentally disappointing the people whose approval you crave the most. Then I remembered.
Anxiety can feel like a prison.
You tell yourself to not worry, to just relax, but deep down you know those suggestions aren’t actual solutions to problems, but mere attempts to stave off self-implosion. You feel on the brink of destruction at every moment.
At any moment, the worst could happen. At any time, something completely unexpectedly terrible could occur. Any second, you could be exposed for the mess you really are.
But then something descends into the pit. A voice calling your name saying, Let go. Let go and trust in Me.
It’s the voice of Love.
This week I rediscovered what it means to trust in the Lord with all your heart.
Trusting means taking risks. The risk of submitting to the authorities placed over you. The risk of giving people the benefit of the doubt. It means believing who HE says you are––enough to risk being misunderstood.
When you know the One who is beside you, when you know His voice, when you know who you are to Him, the winds, rains, and storms that come against you don’t seem like such a big deal. There is a secret hidden inside you that no one can steal:
He loves me.