Lately I’ve been realizing that I am BOLD.
Actually, if I had to name one defining characteristic of myself, I would say that I am gentle. I was thinking recently about how everyone is lovely and attractive in their own way, and I realized that for me, I am the gentle type. I can also be ridiculous, somewhat bossy, stubborn, and pretty blunt, but I think I understand now why those parts of my personality can take others by surprise sometimes. It’s because I primarily exude gentleness, especially when you first meet me. (It takes longer for those other sides to come out.)
Recently, however, I’ve realized that God not only cherishes my gentle heart but also loves it when I am bold.
I always knew that God’s Spirit lived inside of me and Jesus’ blood covered me,
but now I actually know what that means. It means I have direct access to God. It means I carry His power inside me. Not only do I have the ability to hear His voice, but I have the authority to speak on His behalf. He has given me much greater authority than I ever knew.
Several months ago during small group affirmation time, a girl told me that she saw God’s signet ring on my finger. I didn’t fully understand what that meant at the time, but recently God brought that word back to me, and this time the image spoke to me powerfully. God gives me the authority to do important business on His behalf. Just as a king might give his signet ring to a trusted official to sign documents on his behalf, just as Pharaoh gave his ring to Joseph when he made him second in command, God gives me His seal.
He doesn’t just assign me menial duties or character-building chores, He gives me assignments that have real significance.
When He rescued me from darkness, I was a lost sheep, dumb and helpless. He adopted me into His family, and I became a child loved and cared for by Him. But the story doesn’t end there. As I mature as His son (I say son, rather than daughter, because sons get inheritance), He entrusts me with more and more important work.
Understanding my authority has transformed my life.
For one thing, I have much lower tolerance for the foolishness in my own brain. The negative voices vying to influence me have a much harder battle now. I used to get easily discouraged, distracted, and depressed. I would get twisted up inside trying to reason with all the negative voices in my head, but now, I simply rise up in righteous anger and command them to leave.
Do you know who my Father is?! Do you know how much He loves me?? You have NO PLACE in me––the place of Joy and Favor is where I live.
I have also grown bolder in speaking the truth to others.
I am still gentle, but I am less worried about how they will react. In college I was very hesitant about speaking my mind to the girls I spiritually mentored, because I was afraid of offending them. I didn’t want them to stop trusting me and confiding in me. Now I can see how selfish it was to value their opinion of me more than their good.
Some people tend to speak too quickly without listening well enough and really understanding the situation, but I usually fall to the opposite extreme. I listen and listen, nod, offer sympathy, and never speak out the truths that are blatantly obvious to me.
At least that was how I used to be. Not anymore. I don’t care so much about being liked and needed––my worth comes from Him.
Interestingly, realizing how much authority I have doesn’t make me need God less,
it makes me need Him more. He is my power source.
So while I’m free from depending on anything else for strength, I am fully dependent on Him. It’s rather wonderful, actually. Any words I speak out boldly, any actions I take with authority come from a place of complete submission to Him. May He ever receive the glory.