In the Meantime

The real battleground is in the mind.

That’s where the real war is waged. It’s where I do battle every day.

Sometimes so many voices fight in my head that I get completely turned around. Small suggestions that seem harmless, like natural thoughts, can be poison.

Sometimes it takes me the whole day to realize I’ve been slowly dying inside.

I’m an over-thinker. I can be.

A million thoughts zoom around my brain, analyzing a situation from a million different angles, desperately trying to figure out why something feels off. Am I doing something wrong? Am I missing something? Am I hiding something from myself?

But I’ve realized that sometimes it’s okay to be in the in-between stage. Still searching for the answer. Still in the process. When you’re in unknown territory, it can take awhile to get your bearings. And that’s okay.

In the meantime, I lift praises to the One who is worthy.

In the meantime, I declare truth with my mouth. In the meantime, I open my heart to receive His love, which my flesh doesn’t want to receive until I find the answer, but which I know He wants me to receive now––because it’s not a love that is earned. In the meantime, I choose to believe.

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After living in South Korea for over 7 years, Elizabeth is back in the States finding a new normal. Currently in seminary, she is enjoying unpacking questions of faith in a new context. Amidst the tension of brokenness and conviction, she continues to find grace. And above all else, she continues to pursue the God who inspires childlike wonder.

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