I can’t remember the last time I greeted a new year with so much clarity and purpose! I find myself bursting with plans and hopes for 2013! It’s going to be an awesome year! But before diving straight into this year, I want to take a moment to reflect on 2012.
Last year was kind of crazy and all over the place for me, but if I had to summarize it in one word, I would say it was a year of foundation building.
God really grew my faith and started preparing me for the big callings He has on my life. In 2011, the year before last, God made it clear that He was calling me to Korea, but this past year, He began giving hints about some of the details. (I’ll just say four things for now: music, orphans, inner healing, and North Korea.)
I love the way God leads me. Not in a straight line. Not predictably. He takes me on a grand adventure. This past year was one of transition, some heartache, and some moments of feeling overwhelmed/lost, but as I look back on the “big events” of my 2012, I see His hand so powerfully at work!
Recap of my 2012:
Joined my church’s Praise Team, ushered in by powerful prophecies from my pastor over the teamㅡJanuary
Volunteered at Jerusalem Ministries’ (orphanage ministry) Arts and Crafts Camp. Decided I’d like to volunteer regularly in the future, but then forgot about itㅡJanuary
Joined Kingdom First Tabernacle as a prophetic singer (something I had zero experience in)ㅡFebruary
My first visitor in Korea, my aunt, came and opened up a lot of childhood questions that started me on a crazy journey of inner healingㅡMarch
All church retreat: God revealed that my greatest strength is my emotionsㅡMay.
Performed what could quite possibly be my last solo piano recital at SNUㅡMay
End of my Fulbright Grant, i.e. Part 1 of my life in KoreaㅡJune
Bought a keyboard and started song writingㅡJune
At a Korean worship service, God broke my heart for North Korea to the point that I found myself desperately asking to be sent thereㅡJuly
Missions trip to Australia: Realized I have a strong desire to bring inner healing to othersㅡJuly
Trip home: Realized how much I changed the past year and continued on my journey of inner healing. God specifically restored my calling to be a motherㅡAugust
Stood up in a prayer meeting to commit to adopt at least one Korean child in the futureㅡSeptember
Naomi Initiative (crazy dating thing at my church): Was freed from my fear of dating and given clarity and vision for my future marriageㅡSeptember
Leadership Retreat: God asked me if I would be willing to do anything for Him, even go to North Korea and be martyred. (Dramatic, I know.) I said yesㅡSeptember
Attended my first Jerusalem Ministries prayer meeting: God completely broke my heart for the orphans of Korea and planted an idea in my head I had never previously considered: full time ministryㅡSeptember
Consecrated the month of October to the Lord: He revealed that what He particularly wants to use in me is my tenderness, my mother’s heartㅡOctober
Participated in my first North Korea prayer meeting with some leaders at my church. Inspired me to not only pray for NK with more consistency and faith, but to start reading books about NKㅡOctober
Praise Team retreat: Performed an original song in front of a group for the first time. Completely transformed my view of performingㅡOctober
Started my secret poetry blog, i.e. started regularly sharing my poetry publiclyㅡNovember
Through a brief conversation with Pastor Dave Gibbons, God connected my childhood experiences with my desire to bring hope to the brokenhearted and showed me that I have a powerful gift of encouragementㅡNovember
First lesson with my very first piano student in Korea (boy living in an orphanage)ㅡDecember
First (low key) recording session of some original songsㅡDecember
I may not have made much money or produced much of “value” to the world, but looking back, I feel so rich!
I wouldn’t trade all the treasures of this past year for anything. I learned so much about who I am, how my past has shaped me, and what qualities I have that are most valuable and powerful. I started dreaming big about my gifts and talents and taking steps toward pursuing those dreams. And God revealed desires and dreams within me that I never knew I had.
I used to feel in such a rush about my life. I didn’t feel like I was complete until I reached my “destination,” whether that was marriage, a job, a career, financial stability, emotional stability, recognition, etc. That’s where I was one year ago, at the start of 2012: Anxious to become perfect as fast as possible.
Now, one year later, I still have none of those things (or anything close), but I feel in no rush whatsoever. Those things aren’t what make me complete. He is. The glimpses He has given me of the future assure me that there are wonderful things ahead, but I have no desire to jump to the end of the journey. This adventure that I’m on right now, this is what it’s all about.