I did not think today was going to be a good day.
After the shortest summer vacation of my life (one week), I didn’t think I would be ready to go back to school. But today turned out to be surprisingly great. It started with the lovely surprise of finding my whiteboard and desk had been professionally cleaned and ended with getting caught in a sudden, glorious downpour on the way home.
The words a wise pastor spoke last week in the middle of the mountains of Mindanao echoed in my mind:
This is a new beginning for you.
I should have been exhausted today.
Actually, I was exhausted this morning when I woke up drenched in sweat this morning. (That’s what happens when you don’t have air conditioning.) But today I felt incredibly clear-minded. That’s the best way I can describe it. I was TIRED physically, but I was on top of everything today! I was super punctual and organized!
And as soon as my students came through the door this morning, some hesitant because of the slight unfamiliarity a week-long break had brought, but one extremely enthusiastic in his greeting, affection for each and every one of them overwhelmed my heart. (It was quite a surprise!)
Recently, I’ve been questioning a lot of things about my job.
There has been a lot of pushing through. But today, things just felt easy and natural. I think it’s because after my missions trip to the Philippines last week, I understand more fully who I am. I understand more fully where I am going. And I understand more fully how to show grace to myself.
This is truly a new beginning for me! Not a re-commitment to work hard or to prove myself. Not a determination to push myself to my limits or reach my potential. My perspective has been completely turned upside down.
No more striving. No more worrying. No more letting other people tell me who I am.
I am living by God’s grace alone. I am relying fully on Him.
And He is taking me somewhere glorious.