This morning I told God I simply wanted to be where He was.
“If you’re in the storm, then I want to be there too,” I told Him earnestly.
I’ve been in a bit of a storm lately, but it occurred to me this morning that just because life is rough doesn’t mean that isn’t exactly where God is. God can be in the storm. I saw Jesus standing tall on the water in the middle of the wind and waves, bold and unafraid.
And then I heard His voice, “Yeah, I don’t just lie around at home all day.”
I burst out laughing. Because that’s usually exactly where I want to be: Lying around at home. And He knows that better than anyone.
People often portray God as stoic and serious,
and He is sometimes, but He is also the funniest, wittiest Person I know. He often makes me laugh at the most unexpected moments. He is holiness, but He is also joy.
Last year my church held an all night prayer meeting during which I slipped into the side room to lie on a couch and rest. (It wasn’t even late yet, it was like 10pm, but I was super tired.) I closed my eyes and listened to everyone singing praises to God and smiled to myself, enjoying the beautiful sound.
There is a time when I would have been ashamed to do such a thing,
chastised myself for setting a bad example, for abandoning my post, but this night I felt free. Just in case, however, I checked with God.
“You’re okay with this, right God?” I asked.
He was smiling, almost patting my head, as He said, “And over here is my lazy daughter.” I laughed and rolled over, eyes closed and beaming.
I really do want to be where He is,
even if the place is dark or unfamiliar. Even if discomfort is involved. I’m willing to go. I’m willing to endure as long as necessary.
But it’s funny how often I find Him so surprisingly close. He comes and meets me right where I am, not with condemnation in His voice, but with so much affection. He comes to be where I am.