Spiritual Abuse: When Church Becomes a Damaging, Dangerous Place

Four years ago, the co-lead pastors of my church at the time were asked to resign because of spiritual abuse. That church had become my family, my community, my home. The news was shocking, but I was also deeply grateful the dysfunction was finally being named. While I am still unpacking the realities and consequences […]

Read More

More than My Trauma

The past year and a half, it has been hard for me not to define myself by my trauma. I have been through some things. I have had some long, complicated experiences that have been arduous to process. Years worth of mess to sort through. And it has been hard not to stay stuck. I’m […]

Read More

Accepting the Good

I’ll be the first one to admit that I think platitudes about gratitude are lame. (Though I’m sure I’ve made plenty on this blog . . .) Gratitude cannot be the solution to everything, and besides, some problems need to be wallowed in and solved that way. Right? Waiting In the middle of 2019, I […]

Read More

Transition, Weightlessness & Restoration

At the beginning of the year, I left the home I had built in Korea. I left my closest friends, my job, my routines, and all the futures I had envisioned for myself on that peninsula, and I returned to the States. I was excited, but I was also heartbroken. In one hand, I held hopeful excitement about my new beginning; but in the other, my whole world seemed to be slipping away like sand through my fingers […]

Read More

Learning to Be Weak

I have been learning the same lesson over and over the past several months, actually more like the past two years. The lesson is this: I am weak. At times I’ve felt intensely frustrated, stuck, even hopeless, wondering if this season will ever end. But what can I say? God is a thorough teacher. Not Okay […]

Read More

Remembering the Dark Times

Trying to Move On I used to see the dark times as something to forget. I wanted to pretend they had never happened. My struggles and failures, the moments of intense loneliness, fear, and confusion––I just wanted to put all that behind me. The point was to overcome. The point was to move forward. But in […]

Read More

The Strength to Persevere

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged, but after a two-week trip to the States, a move to a new apartment, and a pretty major hair cut . . . I’m back! New Beginnings Right in line with my Year of New Beginnings, I moved into a new apartment last week! Woohoo! It’s an amazing home […]

Read More

Some Lessons From the Middle of the Process

I haven’t been blogging much the past month because I’ve been doing a lot of personal processing. A lot. My thoughts, beliefs, hopes, fears, insights, and regrets have been tangled together like a giant knot that is slowly loosening. And from that mess, I didn’t feel I had anything to share. I’m still in the […]

Read More